i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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