Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
