Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
