You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
