Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
