hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
