No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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