There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she looked like the before picture.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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