Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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