I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
