My room smells like vodka and shame
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
