things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
