yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
