"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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