I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
