From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
