So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
