i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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