i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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