I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
