Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
