dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
