is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
