Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
