the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize