Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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