I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
