Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
