This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
