real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
