i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
