You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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