there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
