filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
