so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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