Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
