so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize