Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
