nut hugger
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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