So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
