The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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