DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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