I want to make a zoo with you.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
