Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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