and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize