please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
