Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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