covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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