how can u be prego again
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize