return my video game
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
