weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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