got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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