Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
