Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
