redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
