i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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